I have always taken my ability to speak for granted. I have also taken it for granted that my children will develop normally (or above normal) And that they will grow up to be Nobel Prize winners. This Christmas break we had an experience that made me appreciate both.
Dallin has always been a little bit behind the bell curve in physical development. He wasn't holding his head up at when the doctor checked at four months old (he did 1 week later); he wasn't sitting up at 6 month (he did the day after his checkup). He wasn't crawling at 9 months and he wasn't walking at 12 months. He didn't say his first word until 18 months. It wasn't a big deal that we couldn't understand about half of what he said.
Right around Christmas he started stuttering. He would say the first part of his word over and over again. At first we just thought he was talking funny and developing a weird habit of holding on to part of his word longer than necessary. We would even copy him a little and laugh. But then it got worse. It got to the point where he would clench his jaw and start talking in a high pitched voice and cover his mouth. It was really sad.
For those of you who don't know Steve, he has dealt with a stuttering problem most of his life. Usually it's not that noticable, but during times of high stress it can be quite problematic. We were both worried about the potential struggles that Dallin would face but Steve even more so. It was hard for him to watch -- one time he even had to leave the room when Dallin was trying to talk to me. I don't know all that Steve was feeling. I'm sure he was worried about Dallin, but I think it also brought back memories of his own struggles and frustrations and missed opportunities.
As a mother and a wife, I can tell you that it was very difficult to see the suffering of two people that I love very much. I wanted to take their struggles and pain away. I wanted to go through it for them. But I couldn't. I felt pretty helpless.
Steve and I talked about it a lot. We researched on the internet. We talked to friends and family. We decided to wait until the end of January before we would seek professional help. We hoped that it was just part of his development.
I am happy to report that Dallin is almost completely stutter free. We can even understand more than 50% of what he says. I do notice that when he is stressed (like when I yell at him) or tired or excited the stutter will return, but not nearly as bad as it was. I am grateful for friends and family who let me talk through this with them. And grateful that Dallin seems to be ok. I am also happy that we haven't had to worry about things more severe than a speech problem. Now that he can talk fine, we have a hard time getting him to talk! He asks questions all day long. I can live with that.
